Theres only so much sun, sand and dates with Iguanas that a badger can take, the relationship wasnt going anywhere, I could tell by the way she looked at other Iguanas that the novelty of dating a badger was wearing off.

So we said our goodbyes and I was on my way again, heading back out on the next flight. I landed in Newark and wasnt sure how I was going to get through immigration but then a very nice guy named Hector took a shine to me...........a shoeshine in fact!!

He was busy buffing the shoes for businessmen on their way to meetings but helped me out by wearing me past all the immigration dudes.

We chatted a while and then I had to move on, I said I couldn't really offer him anything but he said just to have worn the badger was enough.........top man was Hector!!!!

Rumour has it the taxman was last seen travelling up the new A46 dual carriageway to Newark. If anybody out there sees him, tell him the badger has landed at Newark, New Jersey and not the Air Museum at Winthorpe.

Next Issue March 16th "The taxman suffers nightmares"